美佛慧訊　第七十三期

Embodying Mindfulness

Victoria Dolm

Thich Nhat Hanh's Washington Appearance

A living teaching in mindfulness, Vietnamese Master, Ven. Thich Nhat Hnah, accompanied by monks and nuns from his French retreat community, Plum Village, filed onto the stage of the Washington Hebrew Congregation last September, opening the evening with a guided meditation and chanted homage to the Buddha. The master sat statuesque, but relaxed, through the approximately 2-hour presentation, occasionally taking up a glass of water with both hands and giving it his full concentration.

Nhat Hanh began by stressing the interconnectedness of mind and body, and the use of mindfulness in helping us make friends with our bodies which we so often neglect. "There is not enough peace in our consciousness," he said. "Use the vehicle of breath to go back to the body and feelings. Breathing in, know you are breathing in; breathing out, know you are breathing out. Don't make the breath the way you want it to be. If you practice for even a minute or two, the quality of your breath improves. The in-breath becomes slower, more peaceful. You must invest 100% of the body into recognizing the in-breath. When I was a novice, my teacher asked me to do an errand for him. Because I was eager, I walked out of the room unmindfully. He called me back and said, "My child, do that again." Then I mindfully repeated the walk, opened the door, and closed it. My teacher didn't have to tell me a second time!

Later, in 1960, I visited Thomas Merton for two days. Afterward, Merton said to his other monks, "Look how this monk closes a door. You can tell by watching that he is a monk." Our body and mind are not peaceful. We live in such a way that we have declared war on our bodies. It is time that you go back to the body and make peace with it. We have worked our body too hard and don't know how to let it renew itself. We have lost confidence in it. A wounded animal in the forest doesn't keep on chasing other animals. He allows the body to heal itself by looking for a place to rest. We complain that we have no time to rest, but we must authorize our body to heal its wounds. Go back to your heart and make peace with it. Every time you smoke, you commit an act that is unfriendly to your heart. Breathing with mindfulness you will know what to do. Your heart should be considered a basic element of your well-being. Live in such a way so as not to give a hard time to your heart."

Nhat Hanh then suggested doing a body scan at least once daily, not with an X-ray, but with the energy of mindfulness. He added that since everything exists on food, we must nourish our hearts as we nourish our bodies. "If you don't feed your love," he explained, "it will one day turn into hatred. We use distraction to evade ourselves. Meditation is the effort to come back to reality." Expanding on the meaning of authentic meditation and its use in countering anger, he advised, "Meditation isn't the good side fighting the evil side. Meditation is not a battlefield; it is a means of looking deeply.

When you recognize your anger, embrace it like a mother comforting her baby. What happens when she does that? The baby stops crying! The Buddha taught us how to deal with anger manifesting in the upper levels of consciousness, telling us that at those times we should say nothing and do nothing. Rather we should go back to the in-breath, and calm and pacify it. With the breath we can embrace our anger and hold it. Also, we can turn to a friend for help. Everyone needs someone in difficult moments. The sangha is good for this. If we have a friend practicing with us at the same time, that is good. We must offer each other mutual support."

The master went on to describe the transformation he had seen in troubled children sent to his French meditation community, Plum Village, after they had been taught how to meditate. Stressing the need to gain self-knowledge before we can hope to help, he used the example of how we are told, when riding an airplane, that in an emergency we should put on our own oxygen mask before we put masks on our children. "We have to know how to handle our bodies and emotions first before we can help others."

Citing the detrimental effects of the distractions we so often turn to, he remarked: "Conversation can be highly toxic when it becomes nourishment for your negative energies. Also, don't read or listen to what is toxic. Read only things that water the seeds of understanding and compassion within you. Watching TV is also a form of consumption. In the name of freedom of speech our children are subjected to violence everyday. The same is true for adults. Some say that it is not acceptable to market violence to children, but it is all right for adults. I don't share that opinion. We, too, are children in a sense. We shouldn't be absorbing these things. Husbands who abuse their wives are also victims of consumption."

Returning to the theme of managing anger, the master cautioned, "The Buddha told us not to suppress anger, but neither should we hold onto it longer than 24 hours. If you can't let go, then you have to inform the person angering you." Offering one of the most concise and practical formulas for addressing conflict that this observer has encountered, Nhat Hnah suggested that we write a letter to the person troubling us, covering three key points. In his words they are: "Darling, I am angry, I am suffering, and I want you to know it. We convey this because in relationship we must share anger and sorrow (as well as joy.) I am doing my best to understand. (This sentence inspires respect, leading the other people to wander what he or she has done to hurt us.) Please help me to understand." This sentence takes courage because the conventional attitude is that of pridefully wanting to punish the person who has hurt us, rather than to ask their help.

But in true love there is no room for pride; it is an obstacle," concluded Nhat Hanh, who illustrated his point with the following haunting story: "In my native Vietnam, a man had to leave his pregnant wife to go into battle. When he returned home two years later, his wife welcomed him with their small boy in her arms. Together, they cried with joy. Now, in my country it is tradition to announce good news to the ancestors, which involves making offerings at the family altar. So this lady went shopping for altar offerings and while she was gone, the man told his son to call him "Father." The child in his innocence said, You aren't my father. Another man has been visiting my mother every night. When she sits down to eat, so does he; when she lies down, so does he." Concluding that he was the victim of infidelity, the man refused even to look at his wife when she returned. After the altar offerings were made, he bowed four times and went to the liquor shop. In the ensuing weeks he refused to share any of the family meals and left the house for long spells without any word as to where he was going. So distraught was his wife over the estrangement, that in the end she drowned herself. After she was gone, a conversation between the father and his son revealed that it was her own shadow on the wall of the candlelit room that the woman had been referring to as "Father" during the years that the boy's real father was gone. This is a tragic example of pride. Because he was too proud to confront his wife, the man didn't find the truth until it was too late. But the lady was also proud. She never asked her husband why he was distancing himself from her and their child. So they were both victims of their pride. The antidote to anger is compassion. Understanding is the very substance that produces love."

The master then exited the stage with measured steps, while his long-time colleague, the Zen Buddhist nun Sister Chan Khong, sang a gentle song in French to the spellbound audience.