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BAUS Newsletter Issue 60
Authored by Li Ching Shyu
Translated by Dr. John Young
Shu-Ya and I went to New York City in the early morning of 3/13/99 to pick up Uncle
Shen and take him back to the Monastery.
It was a Saturday morning. Most of the people were still sleeping so there was no
traffic all the way to the City. When we arrived at the hospital, we parked the car and
walked up to the 4th floor. When we opened the door, Wow! His bags were packed and neatly
laid on the floor, and Uncle Shen and Ah-Yuk were dressed and ready to go. Everyone seemed
anxious to leave. After all, this was probably the longest that Uncle Shen has ever stayed
in a hospital.
I looked closely at Uncle Shen and was relieved to see that he still had his usual
smile and sparkling eyes.
We helped Uncle Shen walk out of the hospital room to the car with extra care and
caution. Step by step he slowly moved close to the car. He put first his left leg, then
his right leg inside. After he was settled, Yoke fastened his seat belt, and we drove back
to the Monastery.
Traffic was lighter once we left New York City and got on the Taconic State Parkway. In
order for Uncle Shen to get as much rest as possible, the three of us were silent. We did
not want to break the precious quietness. Just 10 days ago the same people drove Uncle
Shen to the hospital. It was snowing and windy all the way. Although the snow stopped when
we were close to New York City, there were heavy clouds in the sky and our hearts were
also heavy. Now the sky was clear and blue. Maybe the good Lord was just as happy as we
were. Those 10 days seemed like an eternity. At this moment, nothing was more important
than Uncle Shen's health.
From Uncle Shen, I have seen the personification of a modern Anathapinddada (A very
wealthy and generous donor during the life time of Buddha) He has devoted 100% of his time
and energy to the Buddhist Association and to Buddhism. In his life, he made contributions
without expecting rewards. As I remember, the day we took him to the hospital he was too
weak to even stand up, yet he did not forget to care about us by telling us where to get
meals in the neighboring area. In the Intensive Care Unit, he was lying in bed with all
kinds of tubes and pipes in his chest, neck, and arms. When he saw me, his first few words
were, "Li Ching, how much money does the publication fund still have?" On one
hand, his devotion touched me deeply; on the other hand, it made me feel embarrassed to
let a sick old person worry about our finances. On March 6th, Uncle Shen was transferred
out of Intensive Care to a regular room. When I visited him, he was able to sit up and his
appearance and energy level had improved. He was staring at the East River from his window
as we walked into the room, and immediately welcomed us with a warm smile. I sat by his
bed across a small table from him. Although we did not talk, we all knew what we were
thinking. He held my hands tightly and slowly said, "I survived another ordeal. Now
my hearing, memory, judgement, and analytical abilities are deteriorating. It was the
right decision to submit my resignation to the Board of Directors. I cannot let my
deteriorating health affect the Buddhist Association's activities. If I become better in
the future, I will still be able to assist you. However, the younger generation must now
take on the responsibilities. Whenever there is a problem, you have to stick together and
help each other to promote Buddhism."
His eyes were filled with tears. He continued, "Sickness is inevitable in life.
However, when I see so many friends care for me like my own family, I am deeply moved.
This time, you have clearly seen what happened. You should be able to tell the Board of
Directors the details of my hospital stay from the Intensive Care Unit to this regular
room. Please ask the Board to accept my decision to resign. Everything is Scmyta like
Diamond Sutra says. You must take good care of yourselves." Although this was said
softly and slowly, every word touched my heart profoundly. I held back my tears and said
with determination, " Uncle Shen, don't you worry about the future. I'll do my very
best to pass on your spirit of compassion through the promotion of Buddhism".
Everybody showed compassion and friendship when Uncle Shen was hospitalized. Each
contributed his/her expertise and showed caring and encouragement. Every once in a while
we held each other tightly. Hand in hand, heart in heart, we were all linked together. We
were strong, even though our eyes were filled with tears. We held ourselves together for
Uncle Shen's sake.
I often think, "Where in the world will I find this family-like friendship
again?" For example, when Dr. John Ding-E Young found out about Uncle Shen's health
situation, he immediately arranged for a consultation with experts and even came to that
appointment despite his busy schedule. The day Uncle Shen was admitted to the hospital,
the old Master Hsien-Ming also came despite the snow and made sure that we let Uncle Shen
rest on the way. In the hospital, Shu-Ya and Yoke were always by Uncle Shen's side, taking
turns around the clock caring for him. When Ay-Yuk found out that I was going to the
hospital, she immediately cooked some dishes and brought them to me. As she handed me the
food and told me, "These are for Su-Ya," I was moved by her words. The care and
compassion in those words can never be bought or exchanged for money. Just because Uncle
Shen wanted to have porridge, we cooked porridge at home, wrapped it with blanket after
blanket, and carefully brought it to Vivian. She then held it, keeping the porridge warm
with her body heat, and put it into Uncle Shen's hands. When everyone was busy between the
Monastery and the hospital, Hui-lien and Yu-hai stayed to look after our homes so that we
could care for Uncle Shen.
Monastery monks automatically chanted and transferred the merits to Uncle Shen. They
respectfully chanted with their whole minds. The sounds of the sacred words filled the
Monastery. They said, "Every inch of the ground we are stepping on was donated by Dr.
Shen. He took care of us as if we were his offspring. We have nothing to give back to him
but our chants." Wan-mai, Professor Gu, Lin-han and everyone else provided their
support and assistance. Uncle Shen's daughters were surprised and delighted by our
natural, seamless teamwork.
I have tried to remember how Uncle Shen fell ill. Oh, now I remember. After the grand
opening of Grand Buddha Hall, every visitor, whether they were his acquaintances or not,
wanted to meet this respected elder. It is not uncommon for Uncle Shen to be interrupted
during his meals, and he would put down his bowl and chopsticks to greet the visitors. In
addition, over the last couple of years, the health charity foundation and the Buddhist
computer database he founded, and American Buddha's construction work were all bogging
Uncle Shen down. The phone rang all day and all night, and he was constantly disturbed
during his work, and even worse, when he was supposed to rest. Of course his health was
affected. Finally, when it became apparent to him that he had no where to hide, the only
way he could work in peace was to take all his documents and drive to the nearby park. It
was okay when the weather was nice, but, when winter came along, he had to sit and work in
the car, warming himself by the heater. Maybe it was because he breathed in too much
carbon monoxide, or maybe it was the stress from work that triggered his chronic heart
disease. Come to think of it, if it weren't for American Buddha's over-powering miniscule
financial details, construction, and human relations, he wouldn't be lying here today. We,
being so much younger, were cruel to put all this pressure on an elder who is almost 90!
Sitting by his side, combing his white hair with my fingers, I saw the beat-up socks he
wore on his scrawny legs. I just couldn't help it any longer, as tears poured down my
cheeks. I wondered what kind of willpower drove this thrifty old man to give away large,
large amounts of money to charity. What kind of caring heart made him thinks about
everyone else before himself? With his wealth and prestige, he could have lived a very
comfortable if not extravagant life; yet he has always been so frugal! Uncle Shen is like
the guiding light tower, giving up his own lights and heats to everyone and anyone around
him. Even when we wanted to feed him porridge, this old man, lying with a disorienting
array of unknown tubes and wires all over his body would still not give up trying himself.
He would always say with a smile "let me try myself," and slowly swallowed the
porridge with all his strength, little bite by little bite.
The first day at the hospital, the doctors performed all kinds of tests. When the
results came back the next day, the doctors were startled. They looked at the data, then
looked at Uncle Shen again, and commented, "The healthy range for sodium is around
140. Regularly, a patient would pass out if that number dropped below 110. We cannot
believe Mr. Shen can still talk and think normally even though his sodium level dropped to
108!" To make sure his memory didn't deteriorate while hospitalized, Uncle Shen
practiced memorizing the names of the hospital staff. He even started to give us pop
quizzes on staff names. Needless to say, he beat us every time.
Over the past years, Uncle Shen has guided me like a father and a brother. Whether it
was Buddhist studies or worldly problems, he always taught me without reservation, using
his wisdom and experience. Looking at him from the rear view mirror, as he was lying there
with his eyes closed, I wondered what thoughts were running through his brilliant mind.
The doctors' reminder rang in my ear: "Mr. Shen needs a lot of rest." Yes, that
is exactly what he needs. I hope he can recover smoothly, and stand healthy again. I know
he will never cease to guide us and care for us through his wisdom and experience. Coming
back from the line between life and death, he needs rest-- complete and full rest. We all
love him, and respect him, and we should give him peace and time to rest and relax.
"Don't worry, Uncle Shen, please rest free from care. I will take you home safely.
When you recover, I will accompany you to see all your old friends again."
Last updated: 5/12/99 |